Some people real, some people paid actors,
I can't fathom the determining factor,
I tried to master the ability to find it with protractors,
The numbers never added up, they varied
The Son of Mary He tells me not to hate 'em,

But it's hard sometimes behind these drums and these rhymes,
Been through pain and neglection
A lack of real affection
My latest regret is that I'll never confess them,
Decided I'd speak on it now,
It feels good to get it off my shoulders.

I don't want to be holding anger when I get older,
Mature into a better person, so I don't worsen
These verses are the way that I cope,
I've written hundreds, some of them I can't find,
But they probably define my history
You know that you remember all of your life's good times,
But we often prioritize the misery and strife, cause-
Cause we all cry sometimes.

I'm feeling better
No longer under the weather
Continuing my endeavours
As i keep on writing letters

I'm feeling better
No longer under the weather
Continuing my endeavours
As I keep on, I keep on writing…

Now, usually fitting rhymes together is my pleasure,
But from you to me, inflictions from my time cannot be measured,
Recently I've been writing and writing fifteen hundred word lectures
For testers to detest it, it's not good enough.

I know my effort isn't flawless, but I put in my best
Just to feel useless and stupid once results return,
It's my turn to try again and I still fail to improve,
Cause I don't where I'm going wrong as far as I'm concerned,

I'm crying for assistance and I'm living in persistence
Wondering if I'll ever achieve more than sixty, see cause
I'm not perfect but I always give my best,
When I can't pinpoint where I go wrong I just feel depressed,

What is the best approach to writing out my struggles,
You'd probably read this and still say this isn't good enough,
I wouldn't let you phase me,
I put my soul and all of my seeds into it all but you're not pleased,

You can't persuade me
Learning about World War I
But I feel like I'm in World War III.

Don't wanna keep on dragging along this story
That's it for today, the end of the song, but not my history,
I have another lecture to write that's fifteen hundred words long.
I pray that this time it's taken into consideration,
And that I don't keep on writing the stories of mental patients,
I'll keep on being patient,
Keep on praying for Haitians.
Working for freedom instead of waiting for emancipation.

You can’t make that up…

I'm feeling better
No longer under the weather
Continuing my endeavours
As i keep on writing letters, I mean-

I'm feeling better
No longer under the weather
Continuing my endeavours
As I keep on, I keep on writing…

I'm feeling better
No longer under the weather
Continuing my endeavours
As I keep on writing letters

I'm feeling better,
Who am I kidding, I'm feeling worse,
It's like a never-ending curse,
I'm feeling better but I still feel like I'm worse,

The type of feeling unresolvable with a new dress or purse,
The type of feeling unresolvable with money and what's worse is,
I've experienced some hard times, but this time, it speaks dysphoria,
I haven't felt euphoria in a long time

I've heard some people tell me to my face I'm not enthusiastic
But when I feel like I'm struggling daily, I can't pretend I'm fantastic,
Fasten your eyes on the reality that sometimes
It's okay not to be fine
Whether it's death, stress or academic press now-

I'm feeling better but still fighting to smile, I tell you
I'm feeling better but still fighting to smile, I said
I'm feeling better but still fighting to smile, I tell you
I'm feeling better but still fighting, bet you're vibing to this.

I'm feeling better but still fighting not to die, I tell you
I'm feeling better but still fighting to smile, I meant-
I'm feeling better but still fighting to smile, I tell you
I'm feeling better but still fighting the mixed sentiments!

♪

Some of us experience insanity.
Some of us do more than others.
Some of us can cope.
Some of us cannot.
I am some.

Never had a plague
Never even won a dime
Never won a spelling bee
Or slam poetry contest
Never was no straight A, no honour roll, no speech day, no praised, no famous, no get whatever I want
I don't regret my past but I'm worried about my path
Didn't know what I wanted to do until I was leaving school
Picking subjects I could choose
Just to have a task to do at schools,
Everyday I wonder if it's my fault
The result will determine if my mind halts,
To think about these words and worried
I gotta rhyme everytime I say them,
I miss spoken word,
I did whatever I wanted,
Explain my inadequacy and my ill culture
Going back to that
Free flow, not confining myself to a 4/4
If you don’t like this click off, I don’t care anymore
I’m being me
I feel like I'm losing it at this stage
At my age I shouldn't be worrying so much
But all I do is sit down and overthink and overwork before I even got to my place
So much death all around me,
This ain't a cemetery, this is just my country
Land of sea and sand, but all I see is gray,
Everything feels numb, not inspired for new days,
The craze of Barbados, of the new decade
It all feels so insane
Being told they're all going to a better place.
That's what I pray…

Freedom of speech,
Freedom of creativity,
Words are what flowed out of me,
Feeling like I’m disconnected from myself
Constantly crying out for help
Who notices?
The psych wards they put you in
The complaints of discipline
The lack of interest in men to seek help
Lack of interest in men to be yourself,
Lack of interest to seek wealth,
Lack of style,
Lack of creativity,
Every one of yall sound the same,
I’m paving to see my own lane,
Changing with every step, can’t go to sleep,
Too many thoughts flowing through my brain
Feeling insane
“Oh he’s just rhyming he ain’t even making sense”
Poetry’s too intense for comprehension
Bar’s set so high it’s hypertension
Speaking out, against suicide, prevention
But they’d rather hear me rap over trap beats and talk about money and sex…

LIVING through these TRIALS, hoping I can shape my MENTALITY,
Utilize my HISTORY to know I can fly,
Hoping my friends infatuated with DESIRE can inspire each other not to die,
Bumping To Pimp A BUTTERFLY
Nina Simone, Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu,
People who make me feel I'm worth something more when I put down the phone,
They were all told they’re crazy, no wonder I like them,
Because I feel like I’m disrespected just like them,
When it all goes south and I sit in REFLECTION,
These SENTIMENTS keep playing back
LIVING through my lessons…
I’m proud to be black despite my suffering…