“BUTTERFLY” was initially a song that spoke of how I felt during my last breakup. However, it is now a song about how I feel recently about life, and how I am trying to overcome these terrible feelings. It is recorded in a terrible quality in my opinion, but I felt like I couldn’t get anything as raw and truthful as this in another take. I hope it does not ruin the album for you.
lyrics
I’m not good at freestyling, but I wanna tell you the truth…
I couldn’t put out my actual verse…
I don’t feel good about it…
I feel demotivated…
I feel burnt out, I feel stressed
I feel anxious, I feel depressed...
I don’t feel like I need to figure it out right now but…
That’s what people think
Go through school, go to college
Get a job, get kids,
That’s the lifestyle right?
What do you wish for me?
Do you wish for happiness?
Or do you wish for me to be stressed?
Sometimes I just feel depressed…
Cause I know that I need to push harder,
I know that I have to achieve so much
I know there’s a lot on the line on me like
I don’t have anybody that really knows what I’m going through
They all tell me well hey, I’m going through the same thing
Don’t worry, you’ll be fine
It’ll all be okay
I don’t understand what you’re feeling
But they all have the way
To tell you what to do
It’s all gonna be fine
They always have a solution…
I’ll tell you I’m not fine,
I’ll tell you I’m not ready to go back,
I’ve gone through too much this year…
I’ve been sick about 4 times,
My grandfather died, my shop owner died,
My aunty died, everybody’s dying…
I know covid isn’t potent anymore,
Had an okay vacation, but it felt so short
I’m going back to university,
Gonna do something I don’t even feel like doing anymore
I don’t know what to do
Gonna spend an entire year, don’t feel like I wanna work
Gonna spend an entire year, don’t feel like I wanna go to church
Gonna spend an entire year, feel like I’m getting worse
Gonna spend an entire year feeling like I have a curse on top of my head…
Don’t even wanna get out of my bed…
Sometimes I wanna watch YouTube instead… gonna do that for 12 hours
Sometimes you just don’t feel motivated to do anything
You tell me I’m burnt out, still got this album to finish
Gonna release it since last month,
In fact, two months ago like
Sometimes it’s just hard to meet the deadlines…
Cause I don’t feel fine…
This song is now garbage…
This beat has been wasted…
And it feels just tasteless…
But I’m telling you the truth
This is how I feel
I really don’t like it but skip it…
I don’t know how to fix it
I don’t know how to impress myself anymore…
Sometimes I wanna fly away, like a butterfly…
Sometimes I feel like I just wanna go somewhere else…
Sometimes I feel like something's really wrong with myself…
And the loneliness kicks in again…
Cause I’ve been lonely for my entire life
Sometimes I feel like I’m going through a strife like…
They can’t tell me what to do with my life right now.
credits
from REBIRTH,
released October 13, 2023
Written
Produced
Mixed
Mastered